tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post4334300440882267513..comments2023-10-29T05:29:04.132-05:00Comments on Unwritten: He's not a posessionHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13620286246484408761noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-15698270564927706852010-11-23T07:56:18.506-06:002010-11-23T07:56:18.506-06:00I didn't mean to say that you were badmouthing...I didn't mean to say that you were badmouthing him in front of Zack. I don't think that you are. That is not what I hoped you would take away from all that I said. <br /><br />My mom NEVER badmouthed my BioF when I was growing up. It wasn't until I was in highschool and college; old enough to have concluded my own opinions. Even then she didn't badmouth him; she just told me things that happened. <br /><br />I was smart enough my entire life to pick up on all the Why's and What If's as Spike is too. <br /><br />For me; it helped that my mom acted oblivious to the fact that he could have acted any other way. Because then I felt like it really was him and not me. <br /><br />That is why I went on to say....As hard as it may be and as much as your heart breaks for Spike...if you could let the light of what you have found shadow the other things out; Zack may never weigh credit on the Why's because he won't know that it could have been any different than it was.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291377007084535060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-83517812219805710602010-11-23T01:48:32.299-06:002010-11-23T01:48:32.299-06:00Trust me, I know the frustrations of this. Been th...Trust me, I know the frustrations of this. Been there. Until my son was old enough and say these things to his dad, it never changed. One thing I did do (that only worked sometimes, but sometimes is better than never) is switch weekends. It sucked at first cuz my ex always said no. Until HE had a family thing and needed to switch weekends. Then when stuff like this cam up, every now and then he would switch too! Just a thought, and hope it helps. Bravo for keeping poor Z out of it. Maybe someday your ex will understand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-51836184626981932222010-11-22T20:11:35.926-06:002010-11-22T20:11:35.926-06:00Don't misunderstand.... any faults that are po...Don't misunderstand.... any faults that are pointed out are between Jim and I. While I don't like the guy I will never bad mouth him or point out his faults to Zack. It is up toZack to make up his own mind about FoTB.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01879753863902363299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-10868081589675687832010-11-22T19:54:32.466-06:002010-11-22T19:54:32.466-06:00Heather - you KNOW how I feel; I am not going to b...Heather - you KNOW how I feel; I am not going to beat a dead horse but I will point out as a child of a POS father....<br /><br />Every time you point out a fault, a scenerio where he (FoTB) could have and didn't, a time he was less than, you are inadvertantly reminding Zack of all the things his father could have or should have done and didn't. <br />If it were me; it would add to the overwhelming feeling of "why".<br /><br />WHY didn't he, WHY doesn't he, WHY can't I, WHY can't he....etc. <br /><br />Something that is impossible for a person to understand until they have had a father that was less than; a father that didn't want them or in "J"s case didn't know how to want them. <br /><br />You are an amazing mother and at some point the joy you and Jim have found and the treasure Jim is giving Zack by vowing to be in his life forever will outweight what Zack doesn't have. <br /><br />What he has found in Jim is a gift! <br /><br />What you have found together as a family is bliss!<br /><br />AND if you let it...the rest will be shadowed out by this bright light in your new Byer family.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291377007084535060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-32079455806456697632010-11-22T19:09:37.498-06:002010-11-22T19:09:37.498-06:00Okay, everything I was going to say has already be...Okay, everything I was going to say has already been taken. So I can only say, "I agree!" Vehemently.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09853679539714823586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-37542320590275714182010-11-22T17:29:51.157-06:002010-11-22T17:29:51.157-06:00You should not be the only parent that is wanting ...You should not be the only parent that is wanting to take him to these birthday parties. If he was a real father he would want to be involved in meeting these kids and their parents and if the parties are during his visits, he should want to take him. <br /><br />He is a POS, and just because he is having him over to where he lives -- does not mean that he is spending anytime with him. <br /><br />I think that it is almost worse to be ignored in the presence of a person-- (ex. playing by himself all day long) then him not being around at all. <br /><br />Again-- none of this is surprising, just sad for Zack, and frustrating for you!Bird's Eye View Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08813489889625737678noreply@blogger.com