tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post4890826796184868330..comments2023-10-29T05:29:04.132-05:00Comments on Unwritten: ChangesHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13620286246484408761noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-50447700410714685122010-03-06T11:12:19.560-06:002010-03-06T11:12:19.560-06:00Wow. What a post for me to start with :)
I saw yo...Wow. What a post for me to start with :)<br /><br />I saw you linked through DD and popped over to say hi. <br /><br />It looks like I have quite a bit of catching up to do!OHNhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03856294075428012923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-60557047539172796302007-03-27T05:35:00.000-05:002007-03-27T05:35:00.000-05:00Oh, Heather, how dreadful for all of you! I came ...Oh, Heather, how dreadful for all of you! I came here by way of <a href="http://pcosbaby.typepad.com" rel="nofollow" rel="nofollow">Erin</a> and just want to offer you my support. <br><br>I've never been through what you've been through. My mother-in-law is a drug addict (though her drug of choice was usually a prescription pain killer), but she was in recovery by the time I met her. Still, I see the addict behaviour in her sometimes and it's frightening to think of what it would be like combined with drug use. <br><br>You are obviously incredibly strong and you're working hard to make your family stable. Please don't forget about you. Ask Jake's doctors if they can recommend some professional support outlets for you. You're going to need it in the coming months.Ms. Perkyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06923832430040384294noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-54827250479028336492007-03-24T09:46:00.000-05:002007-03-24T09:46:00.000-05:00Thinking of you during this terribly hard time. I ...Thinking of you during this terribly hard time. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Your husband is lucky that you are such a strong woman.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-73220443351779261782007-03-24T07:06:00.000-05:002007-03-24T07:06:00.000-05:00Hi, I came here by way of my reality. I just want...Hi, I came here by way of my reality. I just wanted give my support to you and your post was so powerful. I will keep reading.tipsymariehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01001979206200298238noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-75336918789083861832007-03-23T15:47:00.000-05:002007-03-23T15:47:00.000-05:00Oh Heather. Hon, I'm so sorry I didn't che...Oh Heather. Hon, I'm so sorry I didn't check your site sooner! Your post had me in tears. My heart feels like it's in a vice grip. You are so amazingly strong. Don't give up hope. You did the right thing for you, your baby, and Jake.<br><br>My Dad was (is?) addicted to drugs. I haven't spoken with him in nearly three years. As a child I went with him to drug houses. I didn't know what they were, just that the people in them were not OK. My father was not OK. I loved him so much and he fucked up everything he touched. <br><br>I wish someone had gotten him into rehab. I wish I'd been old enough to understand and tell someone. I wish he'd had someone like you in his life.<br><br>I love you girl. My prayers, thoughts, wishes go out to you.Tinkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16188363142469404823noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-61934632442905094412007-03-23T13:07:00.000-05:002007-03-23T13:07:00.000-05:00I was directed here from Erin's blog. I want ...I was directed here from Erin's blog. I want to say that it is obvious that you are protecting your son, that is why you have taken this step now when you never have before. <br><br>I wish you the best of luck, and continued strength to keep protecting your son if necessary (But I sure hope it isn't)Kristahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16771351540802344987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-36372708656141539092007-03-22T17:28:00.000-05:002007-03-22T17:28:00.000-05:00You are a remarkably strong woman. Both your son ...You are a remarkably strong woman. Both your son and your husband are lucky to have you in their lives. <br><br>I will be thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.My Realityhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00970463072050497168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-63265186229310845012007-03-22T15:15:00.000-05:002007-03-22T15:15:00.000-05:00Heather-When I read your words, my blood turns col...Heather-<br><br>When I read your words, my blood turns cold. I can feel the heightened anxiety and pressure, not to mention the anger and feelings of betrayal. I want you to know that though our situations are very different, they are enough alike for me to truly feel and understand a great deal of your pain. Jake is sick. His sickness is real. Those facts cannotbe denied. Keep in mind that illnesses have a way of being contagious, of spreading. Your number one job right now is to keep you and Zack as healthy and protected from Jake's illness as possible. Yes, that will more than likely mean big changes in your life. Remember that nothing good can come without change. It is obvious that you have great strength, to be truly effective that must be combined with great conviction. You have taken a stand. You have begun to draw your line in the sand. DO NOT MOVE THAT LINE. You are a mother now. Your commitment and bond and love must go to your baby first. Secondly you must take the time and energy to care for yourself. You are your son's lifeline. In utero it was the embellical cord, now that he is here, it it is that promise you make to him each and everytime you look into his eyes. I am your mother. That is a forever deal. No matter what danger comes lurking at our door I will forver take care of you. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. I will never leave your side. I will put your best intrests above everything else. You are my priority. Say that to Zack, love him, hold him, and tell him that. Let that serve as your compass while navigating these rough waters. I have faith in you. You will do what is right. -MAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-11826106133718418542007-03-22T14:59:00.000-05:002007-03-22T14:59:00.000-05:00You don't know me from a hole in the ground, b...You don't know me from a hole in the ground, but I wanted to come by and to say that you are a brave, brave person.<br><br>I wish you and your family the best of luck, and know that people are rooting for you.Aunt Beckyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-92074318404287407132007-03-22T13:22:00.000-05:002007-03-22T13:22:00.000-05:00Oh Heather, First let me say I'm sorry I haven...Oh Heather, First let me say I'm sorry I haven't been around to support you. <br><br>I agree with what you said about the BLOG being for YOU! I also use my blog for venting and have had people quit talking to me (family that is) because of it and I say FINE! It's mine and I need it right now! Okay enough about my soap box!<br><br>I am in awe of that fact that your still standing after all this. I'm so sorry that the joy of a new baby is being blurred by such a rough time in your life! Possibly God gave you Zach to help you through the time it takes for Jake to heal and come home and make friends with his son! Only bash I have to say is "I hope Jake knows how lucky he is to have your love and willingness to see him through so many ups and downs!"<br><br>Know I am reading and lifting you up in prayer - May God keep you in the Palm of his Hand!OMHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09316600458810320044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-85552759579668324402007-03-22T11:44:00.000-05:002007-03-22T11:44:00.000-05:00I agree with erin, new mom stress is hard enough. ...I agree with erin, new mom stress is hard enough. I can't begin to imagine what you are going through. Joe and I are here for you. Zack is lucky to have a mom like you.Erin E.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-16425008620311236332007-03-22T10:15:00.000-05:002007-03-22T10:15:00.000-05:00Oh Heather, what a time you've been through. ...Oh Heather, what a time you've been through. Being a new mom is so hard. Being a new mom and the wife of a drug addict--I can't even imagine. My heart goes out to you.<br><br>I've never been through this and don't have any advice, but I'm here reading and supporting you and Zach.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05254282705519820721noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-19064724846167247712007-03-22T09:35:00.000-05:002007-03-22T09:35:00.000-05:00Where to begin? I am both proud of you and afraid ...Where to begin? I am both proud of you and afraid for you. The first commentor could not have said it more true. Please seek some proffesional guidance for yourself. You are not only going through an extreme time, but you are going through it after having a baby. I went through minor post pardom after Henry and I did not have near the stresses that you have right now. I respect your decision to "stand by your man"- however remember that you and Zach are number 1. Jake needs to get better for himself before he can get better for you and Zach. I am always here for you - you know that.kreintsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-32803670332828440552007-03-22T06:02:00.000-05:002007-03-22T06:02:00.000-05:00Heather, if I were Jake, I'd want no other wif...Heather, if I were Jake, I'd want no other wife than you. The wife that is loving enough, and strong enough to stand up and fight for him. We all hope for that in our mate. I have a brother who is little different than Jake, and he's left a trail of women, children, and broken hearts behind. Nobody he loved, was strong enough to do what you are doing. I don't blame them either, it's incredibly hard. You never want to see someone you love, be destroyed by disease. There are people in this world Heather that understand exactly what it feels like to love someone with an addiction problem. Maybe you will have to sell your house. That won't take away Zach, or your love, or your job. You keep on writing, and leaning on your friends and your family. The best way you can help Jake and Zach, is if you let people support you, and keep you from breaking when you've bent as far as you possibly think you can.spellconjurernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-15880928014643383362007-03-21T19:12:00.000-05:002007-03-21T19:12:00.000-05:00Good freakin lord woman - what you've been thr...Good freakin lord woman - what you've been through...and you're still standing! That take a lot of courage and strenght - and you should be proud of yourself. <br><br>I agree with Lynanne and please please please get help. There are organizations (some religious, some not) that will help family members of drug addicts... with money, with support, with direction. Please let me know and I can search the internet for options in your area.<br><br>I just wanted to add that before you think of Jake you need to think of Zack - as the actions you take are for him as much as for you.<br><br>I will not judge or lecture - (as I am NOT on the side of the addict and rarely do I think they'll get better) but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I know now that you've started down this road you'll continue to stand up for yourself and do what is right for you and Zack!Creative Genius?http://www.blogger.com/profile/11864125028811212684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-42281432283854711782007-03-21T16:33:00.000-05:002007-03-21T16:33:00.000-05:00Oh Heather, reading about this brings back many pa...Oh Heather, reading about this brings back many painful memories. I can't claim to know what you are feeling or going through…my story is so different. There are some similarities though…the family stress...the court cases (including a commitment hearing for my best friend/close family member), the sociopath (not a slur – he was diagnosed as such)/felon, the restraining order, working with the cops, preterm labor with my first son…and on and on. <br><br>Having been through all of that myself, I am really worried about you. At the time I thought I was strong – I did what I had to get through it. The family member was committed for treatment yet I stood by her. Little by little my world tumbled in on itself. I didn’t notice it at first. I blamed post-partum hormones… the fatigue of having a new baby…the insecurities of new motherhood. I became extremely depressed (post-partum depression they called it – hah!) and didn’t recognize it as such until I was in a very dark place. <br><br>I’m not saying that this will happen to you, but please don’t forget to look out for yourself. You’ve probably only scratched the surface of the lies, the manipulation, and the hurt. I am NOT slamming Jake by saying this – it’s a fact of his illness. My ass-vice is to make sure you don't try to be a super woman. Seek out support for yourself – whether it be one-on-one or from a support group. If you don’t feel comfortable doing so at this time, recruit a best friend (or two or three) to watch for red flags from you. Make sure she knows that you will become very good at hiding your feelings – either by denial or fear.<br><br>Ugh…I wish I knew the right things to say right now. I hope my comments don’t annoy you. Perhaps I should just leave it at this -- I feel for you…take care and good luck with all that you will face! You are an amazing person for looking out for Jake in this dark hour. All the best to you!Lynannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02416883491055528952noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-68656990853733305732007-03-21T15:54:00.000-05:002007-03-21T15:54:00.000-05:00Heather, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. You AR...Heather, I'm so sorry. I had no idea. You ARE incredibly strong to be dealing with this and working and raising a baby and not falling apart. You did the right thing, and Jake will thank you for it later. I'm glad you're not acting like a pushover. And you're very brave for telling your story.<br><br>I could never tell you what decision to make in this situation. I know your actions and decisions will be guided by your love for your son - he comes first.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08306817679561629773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-69726906289337113172007-03-21T14:47:00.000-05:002007-03-21T14:47:00.000-05:00You know me...I am a question asker...You said.......You know me...I am a question asker...<br><br>You said....<br>"I just know that dwelling in a past that you can't change has never done anyone any good. You can only change the future."<br><br>My Question....<br>When do you start seeing your past (10 years) in your future and begin changing the future rather than the past?Jess Olsonnoreply@blogger.com