tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post6209720824699538395..comments2023-10-29T05:29:04.132-05:00Comments on Unwritten: Thursday ThoughtsHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13620286246484408761noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-92124069290484110042010-06-29T20:35:40.868-05:002010-06-29T20:35:40.868-05:00One Friday I was talking to my coworkers about how...One Friday I was talking to my coworkers about how my boyfriend was never going to propose to me and how I was ready for that stage of life, and it appeared he wasn't, so I was going to have a talk with him and break it off so that we didn't get any older and waste each other's time. Um yeah that night he proposed, without "the talk" happening. Life is funny. Enjoy what you have right now. it'll come.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-26348193674616716482010-06-24T08:14:20.625-05:002010-06-24T08:14:20.625-05:00Kelly - I can totally sympathize with your long di...Kelly - I can totally sympathize with your long distance relationship. My husband (then boyfriend) and I did it for two years while he was in the military. <br />I am still so thankful for: the flutters when the phone rang or waiting in the driveway for him to come home. <br /><br />Enjoy all the newness, excitement and flutters! :)Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291377007084535060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-88485210816918956322010-06-21T14:31:05.585-05:002010-06-21T14:31:05.585-05:00I'm going through a few hundred posts in my re...I'm going through a few hundred posts in my reader, mostly silently, because there's no time to comment on them all. But this one? Wow... I'm in a fairly new (only a few months old) relationship, and it's long distance. Not like across the world, but a 3 hour drive in each direction. And uhm, I'm the only one with a car, so... I'm trying to juggle spending 2-3 nights a week with him and taking care of my teenager and ya know, that life stuff like finding a job and paying bills. Part of me wants to speed it all up - to 2 years from now when my son is done with high school and I can move back to my hometown to be with him. But Jessica's comments? Really made me think about the benefits to what we have right now. Yeah, I miss him like crazy. But this newness, this excitement, anticipation, absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder bullshit?? Once we're living together, we can never get that back. New love is amazing, people (ok, I mean me) need to cherish it and be grateful for it being what it is. But yeah, the whole waiting/planning/lack of control part? That sucks. We sit and look at our kids and wonder where the time went, how they grew up so fast. Yet something like this comes along and we want to rush it? We're robbing ourselves of memories that way...Kellyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08003225931898189616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-41183875959349808052010-06-18T22:48:27.163-05:002010-06-18T22:48:27.163-05:00Oh, I love it all. The comments, your angst, his r...Oh, I love it all. The comments, your angst, his refusal to do it at anything but his own timetable and ideals. I love your friend Jess keeping you dead honest. He's a man's man it appears. You're not gonna be able to control him any better than you could control J. The difference is, Jim doesn't need any help honey. He's got it goin on. It reminds me of how I am reading a fantastical book. So engrossed, and in love with it. Then, I can't stand it, I read the last few pages. Well, what's the point of the book then? I'm always so disappointed in myself when I do that! I ruined the journey for myself. You truly are adorable. Quirky with your own little Heather quirks. It's pretty apparent Jim loves you JUST AS YOU ARE. And he's still marching to his own drummer. Just the man you need.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-64080791257802346072010-06-18T15:25:42.578-05:002010-06-18T15:25:42.578-05:00I'm finding it hard to relate to this. I don&#...I'm finding it hard to relate to this. I don't understand why you redecorated the house based on an assumed timeline that he had never confirmed? And I think that if you act based on assumptions you sort of give up the right to be upset about it when things don't pan out like you thought, because you didn't check first. It sounds like you have good reasons for not discussing it with him first, but nonetheless, that was your choice.<br /><br />I also find it hard to understand why the sense of urgency for you to move in together, but that's probably just because I'm not in your shoes.Laurahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08306817679561629773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-50532355790257930522010-06-18T14:48:15.073-05:002010-06-18T14:48:15.073-05:00Jessica is sooo right. You've got to let go o...Jessica is sooo right. You've got to let go of the feelings of disappointment and just enjoy every minute you have with this wonderful man who loves you. It's amazing how many emotions are telegraphed through facial expressions and body language. You don't have to avoid telling him with words that you are disappointed, he will know, if he knows you. It's the NOW that is important, not the when or the maybe.<br />Kbreints is right on the mark too.<br />Aunt CindyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-47405291752314133382010-06-17T16:29:16.594-05:002010-06-17T16:29:16.594-05:00Just wanted to add one thing....There was no eleme...Just wanted to add one thing....There was no element of surprise as far as Ben and I were concerned because we picked out and bought the engagement ring together. I knew when he went to ask my father (not necessary but nice anyway). I just didn't know exactly when he was going to formally ask me. All and all it was only a few months...but at the time it felt like forever.KimNhttp://www.stilhoping12.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-80585887045637536512010-06-17T14:47:03.087-05:002010-06-17T14:47:03.087-05:003-4 nights our of seven? Ooooh that sounds GREAT !...3-4 nights our of seven? Ooooh that sounds GREAT ! That is better then I get right now...LOL<br /><br />While I was reading this I thought...This is totally Murphy's Law he is going to propose this weekend. <br /><br />But I agree with Kim. We all had these SAME thoughts... maybe not in the same order... but MAN I knew Dan was going to propose WAY before he did... <br /><br />AND 6 years later it makes no difference. <br /><br />Take a deep breath. Enjoy the fact that the man that you love, and Zack wants to call daddy is coming over to spend the weekend with you two....and in his heart really wants to be with you forever and ever. <br /><br />MAYBE he IS making payments... don't be greedy. You know that it is going to happen. Enjoy the Excitement of waiting for the moment to arrive!Bird's Eye View Photographyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08813489889625737678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-65485767967221746122010-06-17T13:47:35.797-05:002010-06-17T13:47:35.797-05:00It's all about remembering you don't have ...It's all about remembering you don't have control. It's something I struggle with CONSTANTLY (right now, actually, as I type this, although for COMPLETELY different reasons, of course).<br /><br />But it's good to type it out and to remember that it's not all for you to control. Maybe we could BOTH take lessons on letting go, huh?Aunt Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-54225797331432753672010-06-17T12:57:19.922-05:002010-06-17T12:57:19.922-05:00Oh, and as far as knowing anything else. The last...Oh, and as far as knowing anything else. The last thing he told me was when he got the ring. For all I know he could propose to me tonight when he comes over. (Boy wouldn't I look like an ass then.... LOL)Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01879753863902363299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-6588251250741697152010-06-17T12:56:22.110-05:002010-06-17T12:56:22.110-05:00Oh hell no. If I thought there was any way on ear...Oh hell no. If I thought there was any way on earth he would read this... I would take it down.<br /><br />He doesn't even have the link to the blog any more. We talked about it this weekend because he said something about this will probably go on your blog huh?<br /><br />He admitted he isn't really into blogs and doesn't read them unless I send him the link and tell him to read something. So that's the only reason it's up here.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01879753863902363299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-40315385126363726552010-06-17T12:47:28.286-05:002010-06-17T12:47:28.286-05:00That's all fine and lovely but the manner in w...That's all fine and lovely but the manner in which you began the post sounded to me like you hoped he would read this and know exactly how much anxiety and discomfort his decision is causing you. <br /><br />Much easier said than done I KNOW...but really Heather you need to let it go. I feel like at the point in which you both are at it's not going to mean much when he finally does ask because the longer it takes him to do so the more details that are being divuldged. <br /><br />I am not saying it won't mean anything to marry him...please don't misinterpret. It's just the actual proposal will become formality rather than romantic tradition.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291377007084535060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-87698685562871166832010-06-17T12:25:55.852-05:002010-06-17T12:25:55.852-05:00Ahh... Jess, Jess, Jess... you are right. Part of...Ahh... Jess, Jess, Jess... you are right. Part of it is a control thing. I have absolutely no control over how this is going to happen, when it is going to happen, etc. And it drives me effing CRAZY!! That part he does know. That discussion we have had several times. That is probably why I know as much as I do. Because he doesn't like that I have this feeling of being out of control.<br /><br />At the same time, this is why I am trying very hard to implore some of my Al-anon principals with this one. It is why I'm not complaining to him about this. He is doing everything right. This is my problem, not his.<br /><br />It is also why I am writing this. To know that I need to get a grip. I need to stop worrying about things which I can not control and I need to live in the moment and be happy right where my feet are planted.<br /><br />Trust me, nothing you said is new to me. It has all run through my mind a million times in the last few weeks. I'm just struggling with it all right now. In a year... I'm sure I will look back on all of this and laugh.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01879753863902363299noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-62227411762687365222010-06-17T12:06:35.790-05:002010-06-17T12:06:35.790-05:00Honestly I am shocked….my jaw was nearly resting o...Honestly I am shocked….my jaw was nearly resting on my desk as I read your post. <br /><br />I understand and agree with you on ONLY two things that you have said. The first being; he should have never told you he got a ring. That takes the element of surprise out of a HUGE monumental day of surprise and joy ultimately leaving you with “expectations”. The second being I totally understand what you mean when you just want the man to come home to you every night and wake up next to you in the mornings; funktified breathe and all. <br /><br />But that is it….that is where it ends. Insert disclaimer: Everything from here on is said with love….cuz really you know I love ya girl! <br /><br />Are you out of your ever loving mind? You have a man that you have only been dating a little over a year who loves you and loves Spike. Once he moves in you can’t go back to the dating stage. You can’t go back to the butterflies waiting for him to come visit and if you share expenses; you can go back to the surprise gifts. <br /><br />Knowing you as well as I know you I totally see this as a control thing. There is a HUGE decision brought to the table and it kills you not to have more say in all the details. Which…I also get. But, need we reminisce about how far you have come to build back up a little contentment about where you are? <br /><br />Shove all those feelings of: un-resolve, unknown and anxiety of wishing you could snap your fingers and have it meet your expectations; shove them down and live in this moment. Cherish it. SO WHAT if you don’t know when he is going to ask; you do know that he will. He knows that he will be living with you someday and when that day comes it will be cherished. You know he is honest, trustworthy, and that the man is crazy about you and your son. <br /><br />Let that be enough! <br /><br />The place you are with Jim…these days – you can’t get back! Relish in the happiness; expect the excitement that is to come!Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01291377007084535060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3006454596735505373.post-28186832103981678792010-06-17T10:55:01.028-05:002010-06-17T10:55:01.028-05:00Heather - You know what I love about this post? Y...Heather - You know what I love about this post? You are worrying about "normal" relationship type things that just about every nearly engaged women worry about. Seriously, I think myself and a half a dozen of my friends could have written this post while waiting to be engaged. For that reason I am very happy for you! Not that, that makes things any easier for you while you are waiting though :) I for one, can't wait to read about your engagement announcement when that occurs....hopefully soon!KimNhttp://www.stilhoping12.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.com