Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Madness

This weekend I tried to pretend I was 21. I didn't really do 21 as I was too busy being too busy to go out. So I tried it...

I failed miserably...

People, I need my sleep. This 4 - 5 hours a night is for the birds.

However, with that said, I had a great weekend. I finally got to meet some of M's friends and family and I had a great time celebrating a birthday with them.

Zack and I got to hang out and spend some good Mommy and Zacky time yesterday and in three days... THREE days... how did that happen?? I will be leaving for Tybee Island.

If you live in Savannah or around Savannah and you want to meet up this weekend send me a message. We don't have anything planned on Saturday or Sunday during the day and I would love to have a blogger friend meeting. :-)

Well, three days to get about 7 days worth of work done. So best get to it!!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

And Exhale...

For the first time in MANY... MANY... months I just feel calm. M and I have had a couple of really good talks about where we see things going for us.

Zack had a really good day at daycare on Friday making me hopeful that this phase might be coming to a quick end.

Things in life are exactly as I have always wanted them to be.... peaceful.

Life is good.... :-)

Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday Confessionals

I just wrote one of the longest e-mails I've ever written. It took me a week to write and proofread.

I just received one of the longest replies to an e-mail I've ever received.

It made me cry.

Yet I couldn't be happier than if Ed McMahon had just knocked on my door and told me I was the winner of the Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

Life is good.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday Talks

Zacky, did you pull someones hair today?

No, A pulled my hair like this. (He demonstrates.)

Well that was not very nice of A to pull your hair. Did you pull her hair back?

No I didn't.

Well your teacher told me you did. How do you think it makes A feel if you pull her hair? Do you think it makes her sad?

She didn't cry.


I get the feeling that my too smart for his own good two year old may be testing to see what he can, and can not get away with. If I do this... what happens? If she doesn't cry is it still bad?

At the same time, some of the behaviors that were in the notebook yesterday are concerning. Sitting next to a child and hitting them, unprovoked. Squishing a child between a table and the wall (repeatedly). Throwing toys at the wall, for no apparent reason.

All things I don't see at home but again, I don't have other kids at home. He has an extensive vocabulary. (As you can see from the conversation.) He can talk, he can tell people what he wants so I don't understand why he would feel the need to use violence to communicate.

I put him to bed early last night and I read him a couple extra stories. I'm trying to change things in our routine to see if anything could be triggering this. At the end of the day I think it presents more of a problem for me than for him. I want the world to see the sweet, loving child I have at home. Not the one that acts out at daycare. It might just be a stage but I don't have to like it.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thursday Thoughts

If the kid inherits my fashion sense is he doomed to a life of purple hats and green boots??

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

WW: Boots - They Go With Anything

(Someday he will tell his therapist about this.... probably right before I give it to his best friend to put in the senior video!! :-)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Tuesday Talks

"Zack how old are you?"


"You are not four... how old are you?"


'Yes you are. And how old is Mommy?'


Gee thanks kid.....

Monday, September 7, 2009


I have been hearing the same thing come out of people's mouths lately:

You look different. What has changed? You look happier.

I was asked this on Friday and again tonight and have been asked it several times in the past few weeks so tonight I went and looked back.

I was wondering, did I look that bad back then?
I can tell you that until I looked at the pictures I would have told you people were crazy. Then I looked. On my face I see stress and tired. My face is smiling but my eyes are not.

Then I pulled out this picture that was taken at the fair this year and I realized that it's not really that I looked that bad back then. It's just that I'm looking much better now.
Either way... I'm glad that I look happy.

I feel happy.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Thursday Thoughts

Unsettled. That is the one word to describe me lately. I'm feeling very unsettled. My Children & Families lady is actually the one who pointed it out. Gave a name to a feeling I've been trying to put a finger on for a couple of weeks.

For so very long my life has been one crisis after another and now... well now it's not. Things in my life are calm for the first time in several years and I'm finding myself not sure how to adjust. For awhile I was still on edge. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it doesn't seem to be happening.

Last week Jake got the last of his things out of my garage and my space officially became my space again. This week he is working on getting his portion of the debts out of my name. When that is done the air will clear and life will just begin to be life again.

And while in my head all I have been wishing for is a normal quiet life I find myself crawling out of my skin now that I have been given it. Is this what normal people do?

Believe me when I tell you, I am THRILLED to have this life. I am sleeping again. Did I mention that? Sleep... oh how I have missed you.... I'm just in unfamiliar territory. Unsure what it is that "normal" people do. Is it really as easy as working, coming home, relaxing and going to work again the next day? That seems far to calm compared to what I am used to.

So I ask you, dear Internet readers, what do you do all day? Do you find yourself feeling unsettled with the boring and mundane of your life or are you happy for the peaceful rhythm of the familiar? Is it really this easy and this calm for "normal" people or am I missing something that will come and whack me upside the head later??

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Tuesday Talks

We are in the bathroom. He's on the big potty with no potty ring so I am squatting in front of him making sure that he doesn't go "splash."

His face is very solemn and serious. This is serious work after all. Then he opens his mouth to speak.

"You want to see my poop?"

"No".... **snort, giggle.... huge laughter.....** "No, I do not."

"Why? I want to see my poop!!"

It was at this point that I had to sit down. I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. It wasn't necessarily the nature of the question it was the dire seriousness with which he asked it.

This kid cracks me up.