Friday, April 27, 2012

You look tired

I just walked in from the bathroom for the 5th or 10th time today (who is counting?) and a girl I work with says to me, you look tired.

And with those three little words she pretty much summed up my last two days.  I am tired.  I am so, so very tired.  All of the stress of the last year has finally caught up with me and is seeking its revenge.  Little by little it is finally hitting me that this is over.  Really over.

Yesterday morning at 9:45 am we passed our first 72 hour waiting period.  On May 9th we have our adoption hearing and then we have another 30 day waiting period.  But really, the first 72 hours was the most critical.  Sometime after the clock struck 10:00 yesterday it all caught up with me and I just REALLY needed a nap.

It is funny to me how this all works.  How your body can run on adrenaline for so long that you don't even realize you are doing it anymore and then suddenly, when it is all over you crash.  I think this weekend my bed and I will get formerly re-acquainted.

During my first trimester I spent a lot of time there but I am wondering now was I really resting or just sleeping because I was growing a human?  This weekend, I am hoping for some serious rest.  Some recuperating of my energy.

What about you?  Big weekend plans?

Tuesday, April 24, 2012


Yesterday was our court day.  On Friday we thought we had a deal all worked out with FoTB but when we got to court at 8:45 yesterday morning our lawyer told us the deal may have fallen through.  FoTB had told his lawyer that he had "major" issues with the post-adoption agreement we had been working on.

So, the judge was on call, Zack's lawyer was there and so was everyone else.  Including the trailer trash he brought to court with him. 

As a side note, yesterday he showed up with the girl he was arrested with in December.  She hasn't had a driver's license since May.....  of 2008.... and she has thousands of dollars in outstanding fines as well as two charges (harassment of a peace officer and possession of prescription drugs) for which she has yet to be sentenced.  (She will be on Friday)  This raised a couple of interesting questions for us, first of all, how sober can he be if he is living with this one and secondly, who drove them to court.  Neither one of them has a license.  This was the "great support system" he chose to bring??  Really??

Anyway... back to the subject at hand, right at 9:00 his lawyer and him went out into the hallway to try to work on their "major issues" while Jim and I waited inside the court room.  About 10 minutes later our lawyer came in with the first of their "demands."  Part of our post adoption agreement is that Zack sees a therapist to make sure he is dealing with this appropriately and that he doesn't have any questions about where FoTB went or what is going on.  FoTB is supposed to pay for these sessions and his first "demand" was that we run it through our insurance and he is only responsible for the co-pay.  Ummmm... ok... really?  That was a major issue?

His other "demands" were all very petty stuff.  Things that were easily addressed and very much non-issues to us and so by 9:40, they were back in the court room and it was time to proceed.  The judge came in, started court and our lawyer made a record, his lawyer concurred, Zack's lawyer gave her statement and then FoTB was asked to verify that the signature on the termination papers was his and that he signed it of his own free will.  (Of course he had to shed a few tears to make sure it "appeared" as if he cared...)

He said yes and by 9:45 am his parental rights were terminated and he had consented to Jim's adoption of Zack.  He has 72 hours to change his mind but he has to show due cause as to why he is doing so and we aren't sure he would have any.  After that, we have to wait 30 days after the adoption in which he could contest it, again showing due cause and then we are home free.

We have a few post-adoption conditions we agreed to, not changing Zack's name until he is at least 12 and able to choose for himself, the counseling, sending quarterly updates, allowing him to visit fully supervised once a month if he stays sober for one year after his two year probation (which I am NOT holding my breath for).  However, for the most part, this five year nightmare has finally come to an end.  His say in Zack's life is over and Zack can FINALLY have some comfort and stability knowing where he lives and who he has to spend his time with and most importantly know, knowing that he is safe and FoTB will never be mean again.

Obviously, I'm still a bit on egg shells until all of this if truly final, but for the most part, there has been a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.  All that we've been fighting for is done and our son is safe with us forever.

Friday, April 20, 2012


Ultrasound Lady: "So have you picked out any names yet?"

Me: "We have a few we like but we are waiting to decide for sure until we know gender."

Zack, looking at Jim COMPLETELY unimpressed: "Gender?? Really??"

Jim, through his laughter: "No Zack, that is not the name we want it means whether the baby is a boy or a girl."

Zack: "Oh..."


For the record... it's a GIRL!!

And no... we are not going to name her Gender.