Friday, December 10, 2010

Discipline for a four year old...

My mom just picked up Zack from daycare and she made him call me from the car.

He was in the office six times today.

He hit his friends in the back. (Two of them that I know of)
He woke everyone up from nap because he wouldn't sleep.
He told his teachers no.
He threw water on the floor in the bathroom.
He kicked a wall.

I'm frustrated beyond belief right now. My child hardly ever acts like this at home and I'm at a loss for how to discipline him at home for behavior at daycare. More over, I am at a loss for how to consistently discipline between two households.

I text FoTB when I got off the phone with my mom. Told him Zack was in the office six times today and that he would not be taking phone calls. His reply, "Great. Ok well maybe next week will be better..."

There are no consequences with him. Luckily he is at home with us this weekend so at least there will be consequences then. The most frustrating thing for me is that we have him for a week or so, get him acting well at daycare again and then one weekend over there and boom... back to terror of the daycare.

I just got off the phone with Jim. We are going to take the presents out from under the tree and take down the Christmas train before Zack gets home. We also tossed around the idea of making a Santa video for him using the option of he has not been good this year. (Although I kind of hate to use that as a ploy.)

So... oh wise people out in the blog-o-sphere... what have you done? What worked for your kids? Do you think part of it is just him being a four year old boy?


Ban-Anna's Amazing Race Adventure said...

Since I'm not a parent myself, I can only go off of teaching experience. If it was at school, you would likely have a meeting with the team. Maybe discuss with them what is triggering this, what has changed (teacher, group of kids, custody at home, visits w/FOTB, etc). Things being stressful with wedding planning may be rubbing off on him and he's doing anything +/- to get attention. Or are they asking him to do things he doesn't like, so he's acting out to avoid them? I would catch him doing the right thing as often as possible at home and reward for them. Come up with a list of positively stated rules that have to happen, and consequences that will happen if they don't. Explain them to him i.e, At Daycare I will: keep my hands and feet to self, play nice with my friends, and be respectful to the teacher. If I don't, I will sit in time out, or loose play time, or call home. Have him help come up with them and take ownership for them. Maybe have a chart for positive days he does all them, then he earns reward when he gets home (watch movie, treat, etc). I feel your pain and frustration on this one! I hope this advice is helpful.

Jessica said...

ELF ON A SHELF!! Heard it works wonders!!!

Miryam (mama o' the matrices) said...

oooh, cripey.

Both of my boys have gone through phases that have me wanting to stuff them in a corner and shriek. Not necessarily in that order.

Often, there's a trigger - if only we can find it! - and sometimes, there's just oh dear God he's a boy-ness. If this is a sharp rise in horribleness, I'd hunt for the trigger, and see if the teachers/daycare providers will team up with you on this one. And with any luck, the kid will hand out clues? Here's hoping.

We've found that if we assume that our boys have some reason, however mysterious, for the horribleness, then we can focus on the reason, rather than the outcome, and maintain a modicum of patience. Or at least, less shriek.

good luck...

Amanda said...

Heather, can you e-mail me? a(dot)calm(dot)crazy(at)googlemail(dot)com (Sorry that's so long.) I know I have your e-mail address but I'm having some organizational issues. It is in reference to this post but I'd rather e-mail you privately. :)

Anonymous said...

Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

- Daniel