Sunday, November 13, 2011

Phone or Family?

I have a confession to make, I am slightly (ok, possibly a lot) addicted to my smart phone. And so is my husband. A week or so ago, I noticed that we were sitting in our living room, the TV on but both messing with our phones..... for over an hour. Me in my chair, him on the couch. Later that day, I realized that we went out to eat and one or both of us was messing with our phones (him checking sports scores, me texting) most of the meal.

And I thought to myself... is this what I want Zack to remember about dinner with his parents? The fact that we were more interested in our phones than in being a family?

At that moment, I realized something needed to change.

Today and yesterday I ate entire meals with my family and left my phone in my purse the entire time and you know what? No one died. No horrible crisis happened in my disconnection.

I can tell you, when Zack is with us, it is way easier to let it go than it is when he is at daycare. It will probalby take much longer to set it down during lunch at work but for now, I think putting it away during meals that I eat with him is a wonderful start.

Hi, I'm Heather and I'm a phone addict. Today is day two of my recovery...


kbreints said...

Yep - I think that is the norm for most people. However there are no phones allowed at our dinner table. Good for your for recognizing the problem and changing it. That is until Zack gets a phone of his own ;)

Kelly said...

I have also made the same rule. It's insane how connected to our phones we all are.

Kbreints is right, it does change until they get their own phone. Mack was home for dinner last night, and I had to tell her twice that phones weren't allowed at the table anymore. :)

Anonymous said...

I think your phone has become such a part of you and your security "blanket" you don't even realize how much. I'm glad a little light has shown.

Me? I feel like it's rude when I'm having dinner with someone, at a movie or together hanging out and someone is texting. A text or two on occasion....fine. But every time or multiple times per visit...not so much. It sends the message to me that "you" would rather be somewhere else or something else is more interesting.

When I get home my phone goes to my nightstand where it stays the rest of the night unless I need it. And since we can't have our phones on "ringer" but on silent rather I rarely even hear if someone calls or texts me. I figure if they REALLY need something they will call the house phone.

It's just not a part of my daily routine.


Anonymous said...

Now "old people" like me don't have that problem. In fact I leave the house more often than not without my phone. Granted I don't have a smart phone and I'm not smart enough to use one and I don't text. I am somewhat baffled when I see groups of people walking in Iowa City and they all are talking to other people on their phones. What ever happened to face to face conversation? Love the one you're with.

Aunt Cindy

Ban-Anna's Amazing Race Adventure said...

I was at a birtday party for a friend's wife the other day. It was at a bar, and I look back at a table of party goers, all texting and playing on their phones. I thought, how lame!!! My roommate says, it's a sign of the times. No it's not, it's rude. If you are at a party, enjoy the people you are with. But the person the party was for, was posting everything to Facebook too, so I guess it's okay. That's part of the reason I don't want to upgrade to a smart phone. I'm on the computer a lot now as it is, I don't want to be on it even more, just because I can be.

julie said...

It is a sign of our times and more can be said about the chemical aspect of the behavior. I've read a few articles/books on the subject and as best I can paraphrase, it has to do with dopamine. Brain+smartphone or brain+email = old lady+slot machines. We're constantly driven to get more hits. Intermittent reinforcement drives us even more. Or something.

I am both needing to keep an eye on how often I pick up my new phone, and how often I slip away to check email. Go us for being conscious!

OHN said...

Welcome Heather. You are in good company here.
My name is OHN and I am a phone addict that also craves chocolate. Not sure if there is a group for the last one.