Friday, May 4, 2007


Isn't it ironic that Jake is in a car on his way to the long-term treatment program on the same day that he was supposed to graduate from that half-ass MECCA program?

Isn't it also ironic that today I feel more scared than at any other moment in the last 41 days? I have put so much effort and faith into him going to this long-term program and I really feel like this is our last chance.

I want SOO much for it to work that the thought of him even starting terrifies me. If he never starts than he can't fail. However, we can't live our lives in limbo forever. All I can do now is just cross my fingers and pray.

My husband is a different person today than he was a month and a half ago. We laugh together and we have real conversations. I have faith that now that he has a clear head and a drive to succeed he will be just fine. He can do this and I can do this. (Excuse me while I go off and chant that over and over to myself.)


Krista said...

Good luck to Jake in the upcoming weeks. Good for him for taking this monumental step!

Erin said...

I really, truly hope this is just what he needs. This is so important for him and for all of you as a family.

lonna said...

I'm glad that you got to spend some quality time with the "real" Jake. It must be nice to have yet another reminder of what the three of you are fighting for. Good luck to all three of you.

spellconjurer said...

I have no right to say anything on behalf of a man whom I have never met, however,,,,,,on behalf of Jake, Thank you for fighting for him. For Zack's daddy, and for your husband. If everything goes well, and Jake does fantastic and ends up the man you knew and dreamed he'd be, try to be kind and understanding to those who were angry and seemed as if they had given up on him. They weren't in love with Jake, they loved you, and supported you so strongly they couldn't stand to see you hurt any longer. I'm positive of that. Maybe it won't be possible, and I'm no mental health specialist of any sort (so this could be the WORST idea ever), but I was thinking it would be so nice if when Jake came home, that you and Zack and Jake could maybe have a small get away together. Just the three of you, even just a weekend, away from the immediate worries or temptations of the habits of home and it's potential bad routines to be avoided, which will all be faced in due time. Just 3 days to be Jake, Heather, and Zack, seeing a new beautiful place and taking a long, deep breath. All together.