Monday, June 27, 2011


Well, for any of you still out there reading I thought I should pop in and provide you with an update on the goings on around here. It has now been 27 days that we have been dealing with this fiasco and it feels very much like we are still at the starting line.

So here is what I know, right now our goal is still termination. FoTB has passed three drug tests, one on the 9th, one on the 16th and one on the 24th. However, we have STRONG suspicions that he is fixing the tests. (Certain hard core drugs can essentially be peed out of your system in 2 - 3 days and since right now he is responsible for when he takes the test he can also make sure he only uses at certain times)

On the 9th after he passed he called me to ask to talk to Zack, I told him only after the counselor approved it. He FREAKED out on us on the phone. Telling Jim that he "didn't know who he was messing with" and asking him if he wanted to "come over and talk about it in person."

On Friday after passing his latest test at 1:00 in the afternoon we saw him on the "bad side" of town at 6:00 with a suspicious looking person in his car. (We were cutting down a side street on our way to a concert with Zack.) As soon as we passed his car he immediately called me and asked what I was doing over there and where I was going. Then he gave me some excuse about picking up someone for a meeting.

His girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (not sure what state that relationship is in) told me that he told her he was taking someone to the Whitehouse. (A recovery house in Des Moines) HOWEVER... we saw him at 6:00 and the meeting there does not start until 8:00. No one goes 90 minutes early to a meeting. Plus, he was going the opposite direction of the meeting.

SOO... like I told her, it just seems all to reminiscent of 2 1/2 years ago....

Zack meets with his counselor again tomorrow and FoTB is supposed to meet with him next Wednesday. After that meeting on the 6th is probably when we will know more. We need the counselor to recommend termination for us to have a good chance at it. Our lawyer thinks without that, the courts may not agree to it.

Seriously? A man can put his son in danger time and time again and they just keep handing him back to him?

DHS can't do anything. It was just pot after all. The court will argue, how high was he? The courts will argue that maybe Zack just heard the story, didn't really see it. He's four, he can't remember something I told him five minutes ago... really?

That is the part of the system that angers me...

According to our lawyer if we put safeguards in place like the drug tests and the supervision then the courts think that is what is supposed to keep Zack safe. Quite frankly, after dealing with this for 27 days....

I fully understand why people pack up with their kids and run away to keep them safe. Because the system that is set up to protect kids... it fails... miserably....


Kelly said...

How high he was shouldn't even be a question. It's the fact that he did anything illegal in front of his child, period.

This infuriates me. I can only imagine how it must be making you. I'm sorry you, Jim and Zack have to deal with any of this.

Where are the drug tests being completed at?

Heather said...

Kelly- He takes the tests at a licensed facility and the results get faxed to me. I have no doubt that he has "passed" per their standards but I also think that he knows that a lot of hard core drugs are out of your system in 2-3 days so he knows when to use and when to take the tests. In one week we go back to randomly testing him and then I will feel a bit more confident as to whether he is really passing or has just been taking tests at the "right" time.

kbreints said...

Why did it ever go off of the random testing?

Kelly said...

That is so good. I know that they sell home kits that the can buy themselves to see if they will "pass" or not. I'd guess that's what he's been doing. Random will be so much better.

Heather said...


He went off random tests because once he failed he was/is responsible for paying for and passing four tests, no less than a week apart. So, he has been the one that has to schedule them and pass them. If he is smart, he will have quit all together because he will have to know that we are going to test him again.... however, being smart is not really what addicts are known for so who knows. Guess we shall know in a week or so.