Thursday, July 7, 2011

He did what??

Even now... as I try to type this, I can feel my heart start to beat faster and my breath catches in my chest. Even now... over 24 hours later it is still terrifying to me....

Yesterday, my ex husband tried to "kidnap" our child.

I use the quotes in that sentence only because he never got his hands on him, and I am uncertain as to the duration that he planned to keep him, not because I am any less terrified by the prospect of what could have happened.

On Friday he took the last of the four weekly drug tests required of him by our original divorce decree. However, he did not provide me with the results of that drug test. Per the original decree once he had passed four UA's, no less than one week apart, he was supposed to start supervised visits again the Wednesday following when notice was given of his clean UA.

Notice was given to me yesterday at 12:30 pm.

On top of giving me notice he was also supposed to contact me and arrange for a mutually agreeable third party supervisor to be present at the visit. FoTB has not communicated with me at all since Friday, June 24th.

So, considering no supervisor had been arranged and he did not give me notice until 12:30 yesterday I was under the assumption that no visit was to take place yesterday.

At 1:30 pm my phone rang and it was the director of Zack's daycare. She was calling to ask me what was going on because she had received a call from FoTB saying that him, or his mother, would be there to pick up Zack.

He planned to just go to daycare and pick up Zack without saying a single word to me. I would have gotten to daycare at 5:30 and Zack would have been gone and I would have had no idea where he was.


Who just picks up a child from daycare without informing the person who has primary custody of said child? A child whom he has had no contact with in 36 days and whom he has not asked about since the 24th of June.

My hands began to shake as soon as I got off the phone with her and within 15 minutes my mom was on her way to get Zack. When I questioned FoTB his answer was that he had given me notice so he was entitled to a visit.

No care or concern was given to Zack's well being. No care or concern was given to the fact that he had not arranged a supervisor or told ME that he was planning on picking up Zack. He was just going to go there and pick him up and lord only knows when I would have gotten him back. What hoops I would have had to jump through. Would he have just stuck to the normal visit schedule? Would he have refused to let me come pick him up?

Even now, it makes me want to throw up knowing that he tried it. Knowing that he had every intention of just taking him from daycare without telling me.

He is not in his right mind right now. Do meth addicts ever recover a right mind? Either way, Zack's counselor says he is not safe around Zack and I agree. Steps have been taken to ensure that this does not happen again. Rules have been put in place, organizations have been contacted, and yet... I feel no comfort sitting here at my desk. I feel like a line has been crossed and invisible barrier I had in place to give me comfort (at least he has never tried to take him from daycare) has been shattered and I am left here, trying to pick up the pieces.

The next step, he is pulled from that daycare and transferred somewhere else. Somewhere where FoTB can't find him until all of this is over. I don't want to do that, I don't want to make this harder for Zack then I'm sure it already is but I will do whatever I have to to keep him safe.

This is starting to get really ugly and I fear this is only the beginning.....


Jessica said...

I have a neighbor looking for a part time job. Maybe she would take him for a few hours every day or certain hours on certain days or for a month.

She is a preschool "teacher".

kbreints said...

:( ((hugs))

Jennifer B said...

I'm assuming your lawyer is also involved in the situation? Do you feel confident in the lawyer? It seems like you should be getting close to having enough evidence to make changes to the Parenting Plan?

Kelly said...

I had a similar situation with an ex, when Mea was five. He sent a note with an employee of her daycare to give to Mack from him. The director intervened, but it freaked me out so bad that Mea was moved the following week to a new center. I have a great sitter, who is looking for new kids. Send me an email if you are interested. I am so sorry you have to go through all of this.

Sarah @ BecomingSarah.com said...

Oh, Heather. This was terrifying to read. I'm sending you so many warm wishes. I hope that for the sake of your son that as this moves forward it becomes better and easier.