To My Son

Zack:

These past few weeks have had me thinking about you, almost non-stop.  On Saturday, you will be five years and four months old.  Which is closer to 5 1/2 than it is to five, as you are fond of reminding me.

Every single day you continue to grow and change and as much as I want you to slow down so that I can keep up, I also spend equal amounts of time marveling at how amazing you are becoming.

In two short days, your dad will be able to adopt you and he will be come your " real" dad.  Not that he has been anything else for the last year and a half as far as you are concerned.  I know that there are days that all of this doesn't make a whole lot of sense to you but I hope, some day, when you are older you will be able to understand why we did this.  Why we poured out our time and our energy and our money into this endeavor and that, no matter how mad we make you, you will always know that we did so because we wanted to keep you safe.  We wanted you to always know you were safe and wanted and loved and that FoTB could ever make you feel scared like that again.

For now, just know that every day, you amaze me.  And on the days I am short with you, the days where there are not enough hours to get everything done or not enough sleep to make me a very pleasant person I still think you are the most wonderful little boy I have ever met.

I can't promise to do everything perfectly.  But I can promise that I will show up every single day and give it all that I have.  Just be patient with me as I try to be patient with you.  You and I, we are learning this mother / son thing together, but I wouldn't trade one day of it for anything.

Love,
Mom