Saturday, March 31, 2007


That is really how I feel like I am living my life right now. Just waiting. For the most part I am waiting for the bottom to fall out. I seem to be keeping my shit together rather well and I can only imagine it is just a matter of time. After all, my husband is locked in a psych ward awaiting transfer to a treatment facility, my 11 week old son is recovering from bronchitis and tends to start coughing after a feeding and throw up his whole bottle requiring a re-feeding of another bottle, and to top it all off it is F***ing tax season.

Who the hell did I piss off?

I was e-mailing with a friend yesterday discussing how things were going and I mentioned to her the philosophy of how I was living my life right now. I just take each day as one step forward and I try not to get too far ahead of myself. I just have to wait and see where this path leads us.

To her that sounded like a foreign concept, but seriously people, if I try to look at the big picture right now I'm pretty sure I will end up in the psych ward along side of Jake. What I try to focus on are the little things I've accomplished. I will worry about the big picture later, like in five years or so when I look back and say how the hell did I do that?

For now, it is one day at a time. Little baby steps.

I have canceled Jake's general liability insurance (after all he has no job so he obviously doesn't need this)

I have canceled his car insurance (he won't be needing it for a few months)

I have bumped down our Directv to the basic package

I will be canceling his cell phone on Monday

I will be bumping our home phone down to basic on Monday (no I can't cancel it, I have this fear that I will fall down the stairs and will only be able to dial 911 and then will pass out and how will they find me if they can't track my address?)

I signed papers on a re-finance of my car loan last night (saving me $115 a month)

I have sold Jake's boat to offset some of the loss on the 4 wheeler

And finally, I have sold the 4 wheeler. Well, one way or another it is sold. If I don't sell it in the next week a friend of a friend offered to pay me $1,000 per month for three months.

So.. we are making progress people. One day at a time...


spellconjurer said...

you rule.

Krista said...

You are doing so very well. And one day at a time is an excellent philosphy right now. How the hell else could you expect to get through this.

Congrats on the very positive steps so far.

OMH said...

Actually one day at a time is sometimes more than I can handle so your doing an awesome job!

Glad finances are getting better - I know they probably are not solved but your doing an awesome job. Do not allow Jake to give you any blame on "his losing his stuff" make sure you remind him and you that it was "his choices" that made it necessary.

Sorry to hear Zack is still hacking and pucking - hopefully this will pass soon. I have mentioned lately how absolutely adorable he is? I haven't well he is!