Waiting...

That is really how I feel like I am living my life right now. Just waiting. For the most part I am waiting for the bottom to fall out. I seem to be keeping my shit together rather well and I can only imagine it is just a matter of time. After all, my husband is locked in a psych ward awaiting transfer to a treatment facility, my 11 week old son is recovering from bronchitis and tends to start coughing after a feeding and throw up his whole bottle requiring a re-feeding of another bottle, and to top it all off it is F***ing tax season.

Who the hell did I piss off?

I was e-mailing with a friend yesterday discussing how things were going and I mentioned to her the philosophy of how I was living my life right now. I just take each day as one step forward and I try not to get too far ahead of myself. I just have to wait and see where this path leads us.

To her that sounded like a foreign concept, but seriously people, if I try to look at the big picture right now I'm pretty sure I will end up in the psych ward along side of Jake. What I try to focus on are the little things I've accomplished. I will worry about the big picture later, like in five years or so when I look back and say how the hell did I do that?

For now, it is one day at a time. Little baby steps.

I have canceled Jake's general liability insurance (after all he has no job so he obviously doesn't need this)

I have canceled his car insurance (he won't be needing it for a few months)

I have bumped down our Directv to the basic package

I will be canceling his cell phone on Monday

I will be bumping our home phone down to basic on Monday (no I can't cancel it, I have this fear that I will fall down the stairs and will only be able to dial 911 and then will pass out and how will they find me if they can't track my address?)

I signed papers on a re-finance of my car loan last night (saving me $115 a month)

I have sold Jake's boat to offset some of the loss on the 4 wheeler

And finally, I have sold the 4 wheeler. Well, one way or another it is sold. If I don't sell it in the next week a friend of a friend offered to pay me $1,000 per month for three months.

So.. we are making progress people. One day at a time...