Wednesday, September 21, 2011


On Monday afternoon around 1:00 my phone rang. I looked down only to realize it was FoTB's girlfriend. I remember thinking to myself, I should ignore it. She probably just wants to ask me why I won't change the Wednesday night visits for him. Yet something in me made me answer the phone anyway....

By 2:00 on Monday, my whole perspective on how this was going was different. She called to tell me that she thought he was still using and that he had stolen her credit card and tried to take money off of it. He was staying out all night, hanging out with shady people, sneaking around, etc. She was done, she was kicking him out, changing the locks and trying to move on.

I wasn't quite sure what to think. We tested him on the 22nd of August and he passed. She told me she had no idea how he had passed but that she had found a joint in his car that weekend and when she confronted him about it he had told her it was synthetic.

So yesterday we tested him... and he passed. At that point, my head was reeling. I asked the drug test person if they were able to test for synthetics and she told me not yet. They are all illegal in Iowa but the testing for them is not out yet. Next month, maybe two or three....

I left work last night thinking to myself, that is how he is doing it. He is using the synthetic stuff and flying under the radar. Then last night, she called again. And in the conversation she mentioned alcohol. Wait a minute... he is drinking?

Apparently, he started drinking in January. She was naive enough to think that he could drink and just not use drugs. She didn't know that an addict, is an addict and she also didn't know that it states in our divorce decree that he is not allowed to drink OR use drugs.

And suddenly, it all made sense. Everything came crashing down at once and I finally clearly understood why he was passing drug tests but still acting like an addict. He had been drinking, she said quite heavily. Vodka and Crown Royal. She had caught him drinking and then picking up her son which means he had been drinking and then picking up Zack as well.

We suspended visits indefinitely last night. We need to find a way to keep Zack safe and right now he is not safe in FoTB's care.

Welcome to the roller coaster. Guess we are back on for another ride....


kbreints said...

What a dipshit. (and all other four letter words that I will not put here).

makingmonkeysoup.com said...

Thank goodness you have that in your divorce decree. Thank goodness for him being an idiot, and the girlfriend for calling you. She must have some sense after all. I was starting to doubt that she did.