When I went back to daycare this afternoon they had put up the rest of the hands and the one Zack made for his dad was there. He only made one, not two. And the one he made, was for Jim.
I like it when dad boxes with me.
When I mentioned to Jim that he had not made one for FoTB his answer was exactly what I was thinking.
Zack knows the score. He is not stupid.
And he is 100% right. I now feel even more comfortable with the route we are going with visits.
3 comments:
Jim is sooo right. He does know the score. He knows who cares, and who plays with him, and who sets boundaries. Kids this age crave all of these things.
Many years ago I *was* Zack. My 'father' used me as a prop to hurt my mom, he was never concerned about me. Oh, he pretended...showed off his cute daughter--the entire time I spent with him sitting in private bars (Knights of Columbus etc) while he drank and his cronies made uncomfortable conversation with me.
It was so confusing for me. Every child wants to love their parents. When one of those parents is not into the good parenting scenario it is hard for a child to reconcile the knowledge that the parent really sucks because it goes against the natural order of the way things are supposed to be.
My father would talk subtle trash about my mom (not really a good woman, etc)which was so far from the truth....but my father wouldn't lie, would he??? (young minds don't understand subterfuge). One night in particular he f*cked up my little 6 year old head so much I came home telling my mom I wanted to live with my father. She was obviously gut-wrenched, but had the presence of mind to very calmly say "okay, if that's what you want, I will help you go pack your bag" and she started to walk toward my room (years later she told me it was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life and with each step prayed I was just grandstanding....she also knew she could't allow me to play one against the other). I started to cry, unable to truly express what was happening in my head and heart. She stopped and we sat and talked and in her way explained to a confused 6-year-old that he was using me to hurt her.
It actually cleared up many of my thoughts and observations. Zack is most likely more in tune with whats happening than you know, he just doesn't have the skills to express it in adult terms.
Sweet :)
Post a Comment