Thursday, September 29, 2011


I've been away for another week and I come here offering no witty stories, no real ending to a tale that has been unraveling since June 1st. A life lived in lies that are all finally starting to come to the surface and a man, so far stuck in his own sickness that rather than fight, he has chosen flight.

Thursday was eye opening. We went to his ex's house expecting to stay for an hour. We stayed for three. We went to his ex's house with one understanding and walked out with an entirely different one.

The violence was/is back. Holes in her walls, "spankings" doled out to her eight year old. A child so afraid that he would do ANYTHING to avoid angering FoTB. A child so afraid that he BEGGED the neighbor not to call him when he forgot his key a few weeks ago. Two lives shattered into pieces that they now must pick up and put back together. An innocence lost, a trusting nature abandoned.

At one point, Jim just sat with him while he cried. He is eight. He wanted SOO much for FoTB to be the man that loved him, that adopted him, that stayed forever (his own bio-father long since gone). All promises FoTB made to him. All promises he broke.

On Saturday we are going to pick him up and he is going to spend the afternoon with us. We owe them nothing but he needs so much that we can give that we feel it is our duty to do so. One day will not fix it but it may go a long way towards showing him that not all grown up men are scary. Not all grown up men scream and yell and threaten and leave. There are good ones out there that he can trust.

As for FoTB, I have no idea where he is or what he is doing and I hope it stays that way for a long time. His lawyer called my lawyer last Wednesday. That conversation ended with, well I guess I have some things to talk to my client about and then get back to you. He has not called my lawyer back since.

On Saturday, I assume realizing that his lawyer had no answers for him, he called the police. He was dismayed to discover they had no answers for him either.

So we wait for his next move. I have been on edge since Saturday. Always looking around, wondering if he will try to show up, waiting for him to call to say he has done this or that and he wants his visits back now. So far it has not happened. Maybe in another few weeks, I will finally believe that it won't.

Until then... I wait, I watch, and I pray....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this.

That poor boy. Now he's traumatized, too. I am so glad that you and Jim are making an effort for him. It takes time for a child to learn to completely trust again, if they ever do.

I hope that FotB stays gone, for everyone's sake.