Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Feels Like Today

I Woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
like a weight that I've carried
Been carried away, away

But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is
But I know it's amazing, you save me
My time is coming
And I'll find my way out of this longest drought...

It feels like today I know
It feels like today I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing I'm wishin'
Life's sacred blessin' and then
It feels like today
Feels like today

-- Rascal Flatts

Things here are a little crazy. The situation with J is becoming worse and worse. He has a new girlfriend and she is requiring most of his attention. Unfortunately that also includes the time he was spending with his son. While this doesn't affect me in the slightest, it does affect my son and I'm trying to find the best way to deal with it.

I know her name, I've seen her picture, it took all I had not to send her his printout from the Iowa Courts Online website to make sure she knew who she was really with. Then my sponsor said something to me. She has a higher power, he has a higher power, neither one is me. It is not my place to warn her. Maybe her higher power has something that he wants her to learn from this situation, maybe J's has something he needs to learn from her. Not my place to interfere in that.

It was funny to me, I really... REALLY thought seeing her picture, knowing who she was would bother me but it didn't. It didn't even phase me. Not one small, itty bitty bit. And that was my revelation moment. The moment that I knew I was finally moving forward. I am over it. I'm done and I'm happy and all that stuff that I carried around for so long is finally gone. It is a part of my life but it is no longer a part of my current life. I just get to be happy, 100% head over heals in love and happy. And I like it a lot.

Other than that, work is ramping up (which is where I've been) and Zack has pink eye so luckily Lindsay came into town a day early and was able to watch him at my parents house today. Otherwise I was going to have to stay home today. Perhaps Zack didn't get the memo, festive is ok, but your eyes being red is not festive... it's just inconvenient. :-)

If I don't make it here again before Christmas I hope you all have a WONDERFUL holiday!!

1 comment:

kbreints said...

Merry christmas!! Sorry for the pink eye :(