End of an Era

Today I lost a dear friend.

I am sorry to report that my tweety bird t-shirt. The one I have had since 1996 with the holes under the arms for convenient ventilation lost its battle for closet space this evening.

Kicked out by something much newer and cuter, possibly purchased at Kohl's it was retired to the garbage bin where it will live out the remainder of its days until garbage day with the rest of the clothes that had long ago out worn their trendiness.

Good by dear friend. You will be missed.

Perfectly Imperfect

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

I have been wondering what to put in this space today and I just saw that as a status on someones Facebook and knew that it needed to be here.

There are many times that I question why my life has come to the place it has. Today is one of those days. I know that I'm happy, I know that I'm loved, I know that I have amazing family and friends but sometimes reality catches up with me and I just need to take a step back and take it all in.

I'm preparing myself for some fairly large changes in my life. Good changes... but changes just the same. And today, as I'm questioning why it is someone would ever want to be with me for the rest of his life with all of my imperfections this quote just spoke to me.

Sometimes it's not the fact that they are perfect that you love but the fact that they are perfect for you.

Attitude

This morning as I was dropping off Zack I gave his daycare teacher permission to pop him in the mouth and I fully, 100% meant it.

How did I get here? Who is this child that has been at my house for two days and where did my sweet little boy go?

As you may be figuring out.... Zack spent two days with his dad and his Grandma and this... this is the aftermath. He is rude, he acts up, he blows raspberries in your face, he sticks his tongue out and he laughs at you.

I can deal with a lot of behaviors from him but blatant disrespect is not one of them. If he's in trouble and I'm trying to talk to him and instead of listening he laughs or sticks his tongue out at me my cup runneth over....

Last night we were out at the furniture store. I needed to get the last piece for my bedroom set. (I'm redoing my house a bit to "make room" for Jim... I'll post on it later)

I never in my life wanted to sell him to the gypsies more. He was not awful in the traditional sense. He wasn't crying or whining or throwing a fit. He was just bouncing. Jumping and laughing and causing a scene and he wanted NO part of stopping. My foot connected with his hind end on more than one occasion and it only stopped him for about 30 seconds before he was doing it again.

If I wouldn't have actually been purchasing something I would have said screw it and taken him home but as it was I was in the middle of purchasing the chest when he started to act up. As soon as we were done I took him straight home and he went to bed.

I am hoping that he will be better today. I am hoping that next time he spends two days there the recovery period will only be one day instead of two. I am hoping that perhaps we can get to a point where it is only an hour or so. I am hoping this because if not my son might have a permanent career with the gypsie people.....

I Told Ya....

Mommy where is my Spiderman?

I don't know, did you leave him in the house?

No, I had him in the car.

I don't see him. I think you left him in the house.

No, there he is... see I told ya he was in the car!!

******************************

Zack, you need to get puppy so we can go. Where is he?

I don't know mommy!

Did you leave him upstairs?

No, I brought him downstairs.

I don't see him why don't you look upstairs.

I brought him downstairs. There he is. See... I told ya mommy!!

*****************

We're driving back after taking Zack to see Shrek on Saturday night.

Jim: I'm really looking forward to this weekend. It will be a lot of fun to take Zack to the zoo. You know this family stuff is kind of cool.

I couldn't say anything. I just smiled so big I thought my face might crack and the only thing running through my head was...
.
.
.

I told ya!!

The Goings On....

Lest you all continue to think my life is 100% sunshine and roses let me fill you in on a little bit of what has been going on with the ex. I hesitate to continue to use his name here as I would like to cut out all googleability as quickly as possible so I need to think of an acronym for him. FOtB (Father of the Boy??) FOB... which could easily be changed to SOB on a bad day??

Either way, I have not written a lot about this because quite frankly I wasn't even sure where to begin. As most of you know we have been DHS involved for over a year now. Yesterday was actually one full year since FoTB had his first visit with Zack after this incident. One full year of supervised visits. 11 hours a week with his son. On the 3rd of May we FINALLY moved him to unsupervised visits and this weekend is the first time he is supposed to have Zack both Saturday AND Sunday.

He has to work on Saturday. Possibly all day. And that... my dear internet readers is how it is going. That is how it has been going for a year now.

There have been parts of the last year where I was waiting for someone to jump out from behind a tree and begin yelling JERRY.... JERRY!! Or perhaps, you're on candid camera, no one's life can really be this way!!!

I've hesitated to post a lot of it here because a lot of it isn't my story to tell. The things that they do, the choices that they make that don't effect me, or Zack really aren't my business. But recently we've run into a situation with appropriate times to introduce Zack to people.

I don't imagine that this is a situation unique to me in any way. I would guess that this is probably a problem that a lot of divorced couples face. Unique to me only in the extreme way in which it has presented its self.

Let me explain. In November FOtB began dating someone. Within two months she was at every Saturday visit he had with Zack. Let me remind you he sees his son 11 hours a week. You can't spend one on one time with your son for 11 hours? Really? Will you just miss her too terribly?

So she was there... every Saturday. And Zack started acting out. He didn't want to go, we would see behaviors at home, we were seeing behaviors at daycare, etc. With as little time as he got with FOtB I'm guessing having her there was just making him jealous/angry. Now if she was a long time girlfriend, this is an issue we would have to address. As it was, with her so new to his life, I just didn't feel this was at all fair to Zack.

So I addressed it with FOtB. I asked him to please not bring her to visits. Please make sure she is going to be in your life for awhile, etc. I was met with resistance. He loved her. She was the best thing to ever happen to his life. (Yes... after three months....) He was happy with her. She was going to be around for a long while, etc.

Then after month four, they broke up. In a blaze of glory and he packed up all of his things from her house (he had basically moved in with her and her four girls.. ok... just to see your reaction she was 31 and her oldest was 17... in another town) and moved back to his mom's house. I believe this was a Thursday. They then spent the next three days saying how awful she was and how he never loved her, etc.

On Sunday she called, he went running and they were suddenly back together again and in love. (Are you looking for Jerry Springer now too??) So again, at a counseling appointment of Zack's I took the opportunity to mention that perhaps until the dust settled a bit he should not be bringing her to visits.

He resisted. It was just a little fight. He loved her. He was happy. The happiest he has ever been and he was going to keep bringing her around because she wanted to get to know Zack and she was going to be a part of his life for a long time.

Cue two to three weeks later. FOtB tries to call and talk to Zack. Zack says no, I tell FOtB no and suddenly he puts HER on the phone with me. It doesn't go well. I did not have nice things to say. I put on a movie for Zack and excused myself to the outdoors where I may have yelled something such as, "Don't you EVEN F%$^ing tell me ANYTHING about MY son!!" And I may have also mentioned something about how I didn't understand where she got off saying anything to me because she was just another one of FOtB's games and was she too stupid to see that when they broke up he was calling another girl on his way back home from her house?

Ooopps....

Things for them sort of fell apart after that. FOtB was searched by the police the next day for possible involvement in a robbery a year ago. (For what it's worth I know he did it but they can't prove it.... there is a part of me that wishes they could....) Apparently the little gem of information I told her, put together with the police presence was a bit much for her and surprise, surprise... they broke up again.

This is Tuesday.... cue Wednesday, his mom's long time live in boyfriend, the only grandpa that Zack has known on that side of the family moves out. On Friday I get a call from him informing me that she has been cheating on him for six months and now has her new boyfriend over at the house so don't be surprised if he is there when I pick up Zack that weekend.

On Saturday I went to get Zack and there he was. Talk about confusing the child. His grandpa moves out on Wednesday and Saturday grandma brings around the new boyfriend. He's not going to know which way is up with these people.

Within in a couple of weeks, FOtB also had a new girlfriend. Cue Sunday, May 2nd, a month since he broke up with the last GF and I show up at his house and who is there but the NEW GF.

OMFG..... where are those cameras again?? I'm looking behind trees, under cars... really they MUST be around her somewhere.

I ask him about her and he lies. She is the daughter of his mom's friend. No one he's seeing....

Monday, Zack had a counseling appointment and I confronted him on it. He finally admitted who she was. He had every excuse in the book why she was there. None of them good. We go back to see the counselor and we have yet ANOTHER discussion on why it is not appropriate to continue to bring people in and out of Zack's life.

ANOTHER discussion about how his bond with FOtB is still forming after everything that happened and how it is important for him to spend ONE on ONE time with FOtB, etc, etc. Wash, rinse, repeat discussion.....

Then that night there is a meeting with DHS. Where, once again we discuss that it is important for it to only be FOtB and Zack at visits. That FOtB needs to make sure he has been dating someone awhile before he brings them to visits. That Zack does not need a million people in and out of his life, etc.

On Wed of this week I went to pick up Zack from FOtB's house and he asked me if he could take Zack to a movie with the GF and her son.....

WTF???

When I tried to reiterate to him that it was not appropriate all I got was attitude. He IS serious about this one. She IS different than the last one.

He has known her less than two months.

The counselor, DHS and I all have told him it needs to be at least four to preferably six months before he brings her around.

I feel like I'm beating my head against a brick wall here.

On Saturday I'm going to tell him September. I'm hoping that by giving him a concrete date it will make the timeline a little more real to him.

I am not holding my breath.

Are you screaming out JERRY!! JERRY!! JERRY!! yet? Because if you're not, you might want to start... there is more of this where that came from......

Anniversary??

One year ago, on May 20th, Jim and I had our first date. From the very beginning, he told me he had these "rules" about dating women. Rules I couldn't know about. Ways in which he was judging our relationship. Rules about how long he needed to date me, tests I had to pass, etc.

One of the first rules I did know about was his three month, six month, one year rule. Three months to really get to know someone and decide if you could continue to date them. Six months to really know if the things you found cute in the first three months have become incredibly irritating in the next three months. One year to know if you could marry someone.

For that reason I started counting days, weeks, and months from our very first date. I did it as a joke at first, to give him crap. Oh, I passed a month, are you going to dump me now. Oh, made it to three months, now it's time to judge the annoying habits I have, etc. After awhile both of us realized that it was sort of stupid yet neither of us really wanted it to stop. It was kind of a fun little joke between us.

Last week I sent him a text telling him that in the efforts of continuing with the high school tradition I had started I would like to see my "boyfriend" (a term I hate because it sounds like I'm in high school again) on our one year "anniversary." He laughed, I laughed. He's coming over tonight. No big plans just a quiet night at home, hanging out and laughing about that really awkward first date that occurred one year ago.

So in the spirit of celebration of all things corny and high schoolish I give you the email I sent to my friends the day after our first date:

05/21/09

So... the date. His name is Jim and we met at 7:15 and I have got to tell you, there was a moment there where I pulled into the parking lot, saw him standing out front and considered how I could leave....

He's a bigger guy. (No, Jess there is no push and jump) But he is not, by any means, the muscular guy that I am normally attracted to. However, I just told myself that we had been getting along so well over text message that I needed to at LEAST give it a try.

So I parked, walked up and the first thing I noticed was that he was shorter than me. Now this is not necessarily a deal breaker as Jess did buy me some pretty tall heals but it was sort of just one more thing in my column.

We had dinner and laughed and laughed and laughed. It was fabulous. So at this point, the only thing I'm unsure about is his body type. And a few odd Chris Farley flash backs I had. And believe me when I tell you I am NOT, in any way shape or form, a Chris Farley fan but there are some things he does to try to be funny that are so... well... not funny to me.

Anyway, we finally decided to go to the lake for awhile. So, I called Jess in the car and decided through talking to her that I needed to at least give him a chance. He didn't repulse me, I'd just never been with a guy who wasn't more slender than that.

So we got to the lake and the big chunky healed sandals that Jess bought me had a death wish for me. It was about five minutes into the walk when I proceeded to attempt to break my ankle. So after we laughed about it, I took off the sandals, rolled up the pant legs and walked barefoot the rest of the way around the lake.

I was pretty impressed by the lake, having never been there, and I tried to just focus on walking and talking and really getting to know him instead of worrying about anything else. It seemed to work and we ended up sitting in the sand and talking until they closed the park at like 10:30ish.

There were still some awkward moments but in talking with my sponsor I'm beginning to think some of that might be me and not him. When I get uncomfortable I make jokes. He seems to do that but I don't know that he's uncomfortable. Maybe he's just happy and likes to joke around. So I'm feeling uncomfortable for him when really he's not uncomfortable at all. My brain works strangely....

So, they closed the lake and we had to decide where to go. Since his house was like 10 minutes away and not much else was open at that hour that wasn't a bar we opted for his house. We sat on the couch together and talked until well after midnight.

Over all, I would say it started off slow but ended pretty well. When we were saying goodbye he told me I was definitely invited back so I guess that is a good sign. I need to just focus on each day as it comes. I don't have to decide if I'm going to be with him forever. Just that I had a good time last night and if another date is in our future that would be very nice.

I spent a good majority of yesterday and last night saying over and over, don't give him anything I can't afford to loose and this morning, I very much feel like I succeeded. Would I like him to call me again? Absolutely. Will my world end if he doesn't? Not at all. That for me is like 100 steps forward from where I would have been a year or two ago.

So... we shall see, overall GREAT night... VERY tired this morning.....

***********************

It is funny to me that the things that I most had a problem with then are the things I most love about him now. He might not be slender and muscular but his arms have held me tightly on more than one occasion when I needed someone to make me feel safe. He has never judged me for eating three sugar cookies and a Mt. Dew for breakfast and then complaining because I don't like the way my body looks. He has told me that he thought I looked beautiful from our very first date and every single day since then.

And that Chris Farley humor, it makes me laugh out loud every single day. Sometimes because what he says is funny and sometimes because I just can't believe it came out of his mouth. A year ago, I didn't laugh at much, now, I spend every day laughing and celebrating life.

A year ago, I never thought I would find a man who would love my son as his own, or a man who would tell me every single day he sees me that he is going to marry me one day. I never thought I would find a man who would treat me like a queen or a man who would bring me more joy in a year then I've had in the last 10.

So whether it is corny and high school or not, today I would like to say happy "one year anniversary" to the greatest man I know.

New Classroom

Yesterday Zack moved up to the official preschool room at his daycare. We have been having some problems with him acting out at daycare and I think part of it is because he is bored, so I think this moves comes at a good time. Even though it makes me a bit sad that my baby is getting older.

When I picked him up yesterday and dropped him off this morning both of his teachers told me how well behaved he was yesterday. All I could do is cross my fingers and hope he keeps it up.

When he first got in the car I asked him what he did and his answer was "I don't know." So I asked him if he went outside and that really got him talking.

******************

I got to go on the big playground. You know the one with the yellow slide. The yellow slide is the hugest.

Mommy do I get to be in my new room for a long time? Like 5 weeks?

Mommy when I go to sleep and wake up from my nap are you going to remember where my new room is?

*****************

I think he likes it. What do you think?

If I had only known...

When Jim and I first started talking we used to send each other questions back and forth over email. It started off small, where do you live, what do you do, how many people are in your family, etc.

After a little while we ran out of small talk and started getting into some more deep thoughts. Things like what I posted last week. What is your perfect day? What do you think will make you happy? What is the worst moment you can remember in your life? What are 10 things about you that people don't always know?

Last week as I was taking my trip down memory lane I came across this one: What do I feel true love is?

It is amazing to me to read back over all of this stuff knowing what I know now but didn't know then. It is even more amazing to me to realize that everything I wanted that I never in a million years thought I would find, I now have in my life.

Sometimes, if you dare to dream, you just might find exactly what you're looking for.

05/22/09

I realize that you sent me this question telling me that it would be a fun one, but for me, it is not an easy question to answer. What do I feel like true love is? I am not sure. I could tell you a million things that I feel like it is not. Which in turn, perhaps could be exactly what it should be.

Again, I am a simple person. Hearing the phone ring, realizing that it is that person on the other end and not dreading answering it but instead being kind of excited to talk to them, even after several years of being with them, that would be part of it.

I honestly don't know how to quantify what it should feel like without resorting to your cop out answer of I will just know or it will just feel like true love. I'm not sure that is an answer. Is there one single person that can fill your heart with joy? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe it is what you want it to be. Somewhere there has to be some sort of connection. Some joy when you see them and excitement to know that when you're 80, God willing, they will still be there with you.

Perhaps 14 years and two bad relationships have made me a bit cynical of love. I know it shouldn't have to be work. And not in a way like you should never have to work out your differences but in a way like you should never have to change your fundamental being to make someone be in love with you. You should be able to just be and that should be enough. They might not like all parts of you but as a whole they should love you the way you are.

Again, for me, a hard concept. I haven't liked myself much in the past and even now have a pretty critical image of myself and my body. Somewhere along the line I just figured if I was skinnier, funnier, prettier, he would have loved me more.

Do you see where this is going? Do you see what sort of a Pandora's box you opened up by just asking this question? I know all of the things it shouldn't be and all of the things I want so DESPERATELY for it to be, but there is a part of me that fears I will never be able to get there.

For me, I feel like true love is sitting in a room and seeing that person cross the room and knowing that you know all of their secrets and they know yours and you still get butterflies when you think of what may happen when you finally make it home with them. I have friends who are madly in love with their husbands. I see them and I see happiness. Happiness should definitely be a part of true love.

Never being able to imagine your life without someone, knowing that they are there because you WANT them there and not because you NEED them there, still getting butterflies in your stomach when they whisper sweet nothings in your ear in a room full of strangers.

See... I'm bad at this. All of this rambling and not one coherent answer to a question you thought would be easy to answer. So... I'm just going to send this and take a pass. I don't know the answer. Maybe some day I will. Maybe I already do and I just can't put it into words right now....

05/22/09

Ok, it took me awhile but I finally thought of it....

You roll over in the morning, 10 years and 2 kids later and there is NO one else you would rather see lying next to you.

That's what it feels like to me.....

Happy Birthday!!

Today is my little sister's birthday.

Ten months ago I took for granted that I had a little sister. I mean sure, I knew she was there but she had always been there. She would always be there when I got around to calling her right?

Then this happened.

Life is so short and I am SOO glad that God wasn't finished with her yet.

Over the last ten months I have seen the strongest person I can ever imagine emerge from this. I always knew she was strong but I have seen even more of it in the last year.

So today, little sister, we celebrate the day of your birth! We are all so happy to have you in our lives!! You ROCK!!

Hope you have a FANTASTIC day!! :-)

Clothing Conundrum

Zack is growing.

This should probably not surprise me as I have been told this is what children do. Much to my dismay. However, this particular growth spurt seems to have caught me a little off guard and is threatening to leave my wallet a little thinner.

Last week I got a text from my mother. It was a picture of Zack sitting at the table and it simply said, Ear of corn, two helpings of Mac & Cheese, Hot dog & two rice krispies. Do you see the problem here? Do they give second mortgages for grocery bills and clothing allowances?

On Saturday I had to take him to get new shoes. You see, my three year old has now moved into size 11 shoes.




No that is not a misprint. Yes I know it is possible your five or six year old is in size 11 shoes.

When I was buying him new shoes I also decided to buy him new socks. I went to the little boys section and picked out the socks that were for size 9 - 2 1/2 shoes. Then I looked at them, looked at him and looked at the socks again. These socks couldn't POSSIBLY fit my child. These socks are huge. So I did what you are really not supposed to do and that is I took one out of the package right there in Target and tried it on him.



(The top one is his old sock, the bottom one.... the new sock... now in larger size....)

I may have teared up right there in the sock isle when I realized that it did, in fact fit my child... this gigantic size child I seem to be raising. Zack is now 42 inches tall and weighs 41 lbs. Where in the world did my baby go??


This week I have also been working on moving him to size 4T clothes. He probably should have been in 4T a few months ago but it was tax season and I was busy. If he continues to eat and grow like this he may be in 5T before winter.

As I pulled out the totes of 4T clothes (I accumulate these things through garage sales and clearance racks) I realized that while I have 3 totes of 4T clothing I only have three pairs of pants and no shorts. How is that possible?

As I was pondering this to myself I walked through my kitchen and there on the chair sat a pair of his 3T pants with a giant hole in the knee. Apparently that is how it is possible. So, this weekend Jim and I (I told you he is a very brave man) will be making a trek to the outlet mall to try to acquire some clothing for the lower half of this child.

Which should last him... well.... at least two months. At which point I may have to start all over.

Trip Down Memory Lane....

As the days have turned into weeks and the weeks have turned into months slowly the time has ticked by and without even realizing it almost a year has gone by since I met Jim. Sometime back in March I realized that this year had gone much more quickly than even I expected.

On April 22nd we exchanged our first eye contacts and since that date I have been slowly reading through our first emails. Jim calls me a dork for keeping them and an even bigger dork for reading them but I know, somewhere inside, he thinks all of this is pretty cool too.

There's a lot of them I won't share here but a few of them I will. A few that make me realize even though I'm a world away from where I was a year ago, I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

05/09/09 - Jim

And not so seem too forward, feel free to text or call me if that's easier for you. My number is ........ At least this way you have say over a phone number exchange. Just in case you think I'm nuts or anything ;-)

05/10/09 - Heather

Hmm... I just sent you a text. I'm BIG on text messages and e-mail, not so much on phone calls. Don't worry, it's not just you. I can just never think of what to say to people. So unless I have something I have to talk to them about or a big long story to tell I tend to stick to texts and e-mail. That way there are no awkward pauses and I know I'm not interrupting them in the middle of something. With my friends it's cool cuz I just say what I need to say and then get off the phone. With new people.. a little more weird. When do you end the conversation? What do you say to them? What if you say something you can't take back? With e-mail I can re-read it and think... hmmm... yeah maybe not. Phone calls it's just out there... ooops... now there's that awkward pause.... ;-)

So let's see, my perfect day? Family days. Maybe a picnic or a day at the park. Coming home when the sun is just starting to set, giving Zack his bath and the smell of his shampoo in his hair when I'm rocking him to sleep. Sitting on the couch with a good movie and knowing that just one floor away sleeps the most perfect creature God ever created. That is perfection, that is happiness. Seeing him smile, seeing him laugh, watching him sleep. Any day that contains any combination of those things is perfect to me. I know... cheesy huh?

05/10/09 - Jim

Now I know exactly what it is I want out of relationship, I won't settle just to be in one. I'm too old to be in a relationship that I know won't go anywhere. I know I won't give all my effort to it. So I figure it's not fair to me or her to drag it on. But when I find someone that brings the things out in me I'm looking for, then I'll commit to it.

05/11/09 - Jim

Girlfriend or wife, I have to feel like she is the best thing in my life. Not to "complete" it but just to make it better.

So more hard questions. Now that you've come out of a relationship that made you unhappy, what is it that you know will make you happy? Oh, and terms like honesty and communication aren't answers. Those are givens at this point in life. What matters to you specifically?

05/11/09 - Heather

What is it that I know will make me happy? I realize that honesty and communication aren't answers to you but when you have come out of a relationship that had neither of those two they sort of rank high on the scale. But for me specifically it is the little things.

For me to be happy I need a friend. Someone that I can share things with. Someone that I want to travel with, to go out with to just sit at home and watch movies with. When I look into my future I see a guy who loves my son as much as he would love any other children we have together. Someone who would sweep me off my feet. For me to be happy I want someone who puts me first. Who wants to treat me like a princess. Someone who knows the importance of family and good friends and fun and laughter. I want so many of the things I didn't get the first time around. Courting and flowers and love songs and romance and more children and belly rubbing when I'm pregnant and someone I can't wait to get home to who can't wait to get home to me.

Sometimes when you ask people what will make them happy they say money. Not an issue for me. That is why I didn't put my salary numbers on the website. No one needs to know what I make and I don't need to know what they make. It doesn't buy happiness. I know I make enough to pay my bills and if I make more than someone, fine. If I make less than someone... fine too.

A house, I own a house. Did I tell you that? It is a wonderful house that my grandparents lived in for 30 years. It sits on five acres and is the most beautiful place I can imagine. While it makes me happy to be there, and it makes me happy to know that I can afford to own it, I would sell it in a heartbeat if I had to. It is just a house.

I think when you go through so many dark times you learn to really understand what is important and what makes you happy and it is not anything material. It is someone who knows you've had a hard day so they offer to make dinner or do bath time or bedtime so you can watch your favorite TV show or go to bed early. It is someone who calls when they know you have a big presentation, just to see how it went or before just to tell you good luck and they know you will do wonderful.

Those things are what true happiness is made of, at least in my life. Consideration, honesty, respect. The rest is just icing on the cake.

A year ago he wrote those words thinking he was describing making sacrifices for a mystery woman he had yet to meet and may never meet.

A year ago I wrote those words, thinking I was describing some mystery man. Someone I hoped was out there but never thought I would find.

A year later, here we are. Both right where we always wanted to be.

Potty Talk

You better be careful or you'll fall in!!

No!! I won't!!

Yes you will.

If I falled in you would have to flush me.

Maybe.

That's silly!! {{Thoughtful look on his face.}} Mommy, my Grandma Carol says that you got flushed when you were little.

{{Trying to stifle huge laughter}}

Really, she did?

Yeah..... Mommy... why did you get flushed?

It was at this point that I lost it. We laughed together and then he went off to bed. My mom, filling his head with ideas since 2007. Thanks mom for that moment of hilarity on our Tuesday evening.

Manic Monday

Zack, do not blow bubbles in your milk!

Hehehe..... why?

******************

What were you doing in there?

Nothing.....

Were you messing with the toilet paper?

I don't know......

Zack, what did you do with the toilet paper?

I put it in the potty.

How much did you put in the potty??????

Ummmmm...... six.

Country Living

Things here are still crazy. Once tax season was over the grass... it started to grow. So now, instead of working at night, I seem to be mowing. Uggg.... does it ever end? I was just telling Jim last night I need a yard boy. I just want to come home and have it be mowed and weed eated and know I didn't have to do it... oh like EVER!! Sometimes I hate the grown up part of my life.

It's funny, last night I was complaining about the mowing and how I wish I could move somewhere with a smaller yard and this morning I woke up and this guy was in my driveway:

He was on top of the garage by the time I got my camera. Then as we went to leave the cows were mooing in the pasture and all I could think was as much as I hate the work... I couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

Guess we are just destined to be country folk.

From 29 to 30....

Today marks my 30th year on this planet. And I can tell you, without a doubt, this has been the best birthday I can remember in the last 10 years at least. :-)

Last night I put on a dress and we went out to a nice dinner. This is the 3rd dress I've worn in 2010, possibly the 6th or 7th this past year and before that, I could not have told you the last time I wore one. I'm kinda liking this girly thing though. Jess came over and did my hair and my makeup, I bought a new dress and new shoes and overall... I don't think clean up half bad.

I also got a birthday present. A real present, bought more than 5 minutes before he got here that cost more than $10.00. Wanna see??


Ohh... perdy right?? :-)

After dinner we went to a wine bar downtown and had a glass of wine. Again, I am still amazed by the normalcy of it all. First of all, I didn't have to pay for dinner. Secondly, we were able to drink casually and no one got drunk or stupid and at the end of the night I was able to come home at 11:30, sit on my couch and just hang out with the man I'm in love with.

After I admired Jess's handiwork of course....

There was also caution tape on the door but I couldn't get a picture cuz it was too dark.

This morning, I enjoyed the double stuff oreos and Mt. Dew and smiled just a little more every time I got a happy birthday message on Facebook. This truly has been a great birthday. I think my 30's are looking pretty good so far.